10/12/06

// feeling :: fine
// prayer for :: cgm!

I love cgms. No matter how they are held.

Anyway, I havent been updating...thanks to my modem which went haywire for awhile. I fiddled with it this morning and got it fixed.

Yeah so, Friday...We had the card-making session! But first, I had to go to work. I was so excited and couldnt wait for the session. Then got an sms from Alvin, saying that I need to go down with him and Mj to get the materials needed for it.

I got off work and rushed down to City Hall. Then after that we walked to Bras Basar. Went to Popular and we split up to look for all the materials: drawing block, coloured paper, penknives, double-sided tape, markers.

We were debating on what to get; cost was very sensitive here because we hadda use our own money first. Then we left, and Alis remembered that there was ArtFriend there too. Aiyo say earlier lah. Hahahaha.

Alvin n I walked in one section while Mj and Alis walked the other side, still brainstorming about the card design. Then we saw the markers sold there. They were...cheaper. Aaaaaaaaaaah. Wasted.

Hahaha. Bought other stuff. Cant remember what. In total everything we bought that day cost us $34. Alvin paid the most la I didnt carry that much money then.

Managed to persuade Gab to come last min! Yeah! She was a real asset to the team! I'll say why later.

We went to SMU and yup, Gab and I just sat in the corner and tried to come up with a standard design. We managed to do a pop-up christmas tree like Alvin suggested after many tries. So one group was cutting out the cards, another group was pasting the borders, another was cutting out the Christmas trees, another group was colouring them..

It was so much fun. Gab was the best la, she found out how to do the tree, drew snowmen on the front cover yadda yadda. I duno what I'd do without her man seriously.

It lasted until 10, when we all had to leave SMU.


On Saturday..We had to continue. At first Gab didnt want to come down to help, but in the end she did, bless her soul. Oh oh, I went to collect my guitar before going to Expo. I got it back, finally! But one of the strings snapped -.- and I have to change them.

Been searching the net for methods in changing string. Jonathan if u are reading this and you know how to change string, PLS TEACH ME! Lol I dun wanna do it all wrong.

Yeah so we went to a secluded place with carpet and tried to finish up the cards. In the end, we produced about 150 cards? Way beyond the target of 1000 cards. I wonder whats gonna happen now. We needa OT liao haha! But I dun mind. Its really fun.

The shoes I wore were literally murdering my feet. I had to ask ppl for plaster, and thank GOD Gab had some. She really is a blessing, ya?

Then went for svc le! Muahahaha. I was sitting amidst W229 ppl cuz I was late lol. Catherine n I were trying to persuade Gab to go for svc. Catherine didnt want to give up. She kept persisting... I admired her confidence. But when I talked to Gab...I didnt need to persuade her..I saw her eyes and I knew she wanted nth to do with svc that day. So I let her leave.

Catherine said..carry on believing. I want to, you know. One day I want to go down with her for altar call, to see her become a REAL CHRISTIAN. Who does QT. Who comes faithfully for svc. Who receives breakthrough and revelation. Who really loves God with all her heart. Yeah. That is my dream for her.

I went into the hall, and the first thing Newsboys said after two songs was this:

It doesnt matter if you do all the horrible things in the world. There's only one thing that God hates the most, and its being separated from you.

Those words pierced my heart. You may not understand, but I regretted. I regretted so much that Gab wasnt there next to me.


I just received a phone call. One friend of mine backslided. He personally told me. Gab and him....I thought I did great, by bringing them back into the house of the Lord. There's nth more heartbreaking than seeing your friends and family fall from God.

But I wont let this discourage me.


Everyone in the Cg thinks that my spiritual life is smooth and easy. You know, because I'm the 2nd youngest spiritually. They say they envy me, that I climb to the top fast. Cheh. My spiritual walk is anything but easy.

I get attacks all the time. A&B is here. I had to give half my allowance to the BF to fulfill my monthly pledge. I struggle with the rest of my allowance very much. I had to pay for things like cg outreaches, events like the card-making yadda yadda. I would give generously, if I had the money.

I would always go to work knowing that I cant have lunch or dinner because I dont have enough on me. Sometimes hunger almost drives me to curse at God, saying He took away my money and not fulfilling His promise of providing for me. But I didnt. I ren! Lol. Just last night, I had to borrow money from my mom to buy dinner. I had instant noodles, and still, I had to buy the cheapest one. It was hard, but in the end, I still praised God. At least I had dinner to eat.

There's no "Secret" in leading a good spiritual life. The only thing you need is to be positive, and to focus on our blessings.

But its weird. Its natual and human nature for us to take things for granted. Like me for example. When I dont have money on me, I would yearn to buy this and that. But when I have money, all my temptations are gone.

Thats how the Devil is weird. But also smart. He tempts us when we're with nothing, but leaves us alone when we got something, so we dont realise what we have, and think about the things we dont have.

But God is good. Yesterday night, Marie was giving BS: Getting Started. She shared with us a story:

There was this guy who went to Heaven, and Jesus was giving him a tour around. Then this guy saw this wonderfully building, built so fine with the best materials there is. He asked Jesus whats in it, but Jesus said its nothing, and urged him to continue with the tour.

But the man persisted, saying he wanted to go in. Finally Jesus gave in, and led the man inside. Inside was beautiful things, filling up the whole building. The man asked Jesus, "wow! What is all this?"

Jesus replied, "these are the things I have been planning to give you, but you didnt ask for them."

When I heard that story, it got me thinking. Catherine also told me that I have to give my BF and everything with an expectancy. She said there was no point giving without a goal in mind.


But anyway...I try to be happy-go-lucky. Because out of personal experiences, God told me that no matter how bad situations are, He will somehow turn them into good ones, and He will make it work to benefit us...So dont glorify the devil, glorify God instead.